Donatus Ibe
Many scholars and philosophers have defined losers in so many ways. To some, it is a person who is defeated or disadvantaged, or is habitually failing or who is considered unpopular. A person who comes in last in a race is an example of a loser. … A person who has bad luck in life, who is unsuccessful and unpopular is an example of a loser. Some believe that a loser is someone who has no money maybe to start up a business or hang out with friends, job, love or even friends. I happen to think that a loser is someone who does not trust, love, and respect others. I want to tell you there’s no such thing as a loser because we are all human we have one thing that makes us different is our ambitions, goal, etc. so there’s no such thing as a loser it’s just how bad you want to be successful and there’s no limit, the only limit is how much you want to achieve something. My name is Donatus Ibe N, a Nigerian, a blogger and a would be lawyer. I almost saw myself as a loser when I failed an entrance exam into the university to study law in the year 2012 and 2013 respectively. I nearly gave up and dash out the idea of studying law but I convinced myself to keep trying until I was finally offered admission to study law at the Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka in Nigeria. I made the best type of friends who are goal getters from my class, in fact, I made my first $2,200 through a friend I met in the class. Some of the friends I made pushed me to where I am today. Today I acquired landed properties through the businesses introduced to me by same friends. Now, am I still a loser? I can comfortably say no.
I will take my time to educate you on who a loser is. Idiomatically “loser” means “someone I don’t want to associate with because I consider myself to be superior.” It’s an insult, generally used by a person with shallow interpersonal values. Losers are created when they become overly negative and have nothing positive in their life. This mindset is created through a lack of gratitude and appreciation for what they do have. Selfishness becomes the dominant way of living and everyone else is the problem in their eyes If you have no ethics and nothing but your own interests in your mind, you- according to me- are a loser. Regardless of your social status, what you are doing in life or how wealthy you are, You’re a loser if you possess the following traits:
Inhibited Integrity
The origin of intergrity is ‘integritas’ and ‘integra’ which simply means a ‘whole’, it is the quality of possessing high moral standard and steadfastly adhering to principles, let move further to say that integrity is the strict a a sound principle in dealing with any situation.
ATTRIBUTE OF INTEGRITY
- Contentment: contentment simply means the satisfaction you derived from the present situation and in all way optimist about what is about to come which gives you pleasure, integrity makes a man to be very contended and satisfied with what currently is at hand or in pocket.
- Probity: this can be said to be the total moral soundness someone acquire through sound moral character and good do’s and does of the fellow . a man of integrity will not be found in any shady or in any dubious business , he tries to keep is integrity by not allowing any erroneous error that can damage his/her reputation to happen to him. This kind of fellow is never rat-race to make money.
- Truthfulness: truthfulness is the amount of trust put in someone or something on one issue or things, truth is one of the things people wants you to give them even though sometimes they pretend not to have interest in it, but has a person who wants to acquire in all ways, one has to show sign of being trustworthy enough by you to others, the race of life is not ending in that spot you just spoke the truth but it will range as long as possible to the benefit of not only your family most time but into your generation as whole.
- Fair-play: a man of integrity never shows pride in is charisma i.e never believe he is superior to anyone, he shows loyalty and concern for his other people to get not only their attention but to also be in their shoe, as it is said in the popular palace that one of the Golding rules of life is that “do unto others, as you want others to do to you”. A man of integrity will finds it difficult to behave in such a way others will fell cheated.
- Non-compromise of principle :it is very rear you call someone man of integrity and still found wanting in the aspect of being trustworthy , honest, fair-play and so on. They don’t pervert justice nor favors the wrong course of action.
Integrity means your values, what you believe, say, and do are aligned. You could argue that a serial killer gets ethics because this individual thinks, says, and murders always with his word. I’d assert this is not really the heart value, because the center value of human beings is to love and be loved. A brief circuit in this person’s brain is disconnecting his core moral values and ideas.
It refers to the”prohibition of telling gossip, honest remarks about a non-present individual or party.”
The other word, Motzei Shem Rah, means”slander and false remarks”. If you are known as a person that gossips and slanders, you are a loser. People will not have trust in you.
Blaming people around you for your failure
You couldn’t pass the entrance exams? That’s because you can enter a college or university only if you have connections or money. You didn’t receive your bonus at work? It’s because your idiotic boss acknowledges only relatives and sycophants. Your girlfriend dumped you? That’s because she is a tramp (if it’s a boyfriend, then he’s a jerk). You ran out of bread at home and there is no bread in the grocery store? Evident proof of a universal conspiracy against you.
- Trying to find someone to blame gives a person a false feeling that the problem is solved. However, it comes back again in a little while. That is why successful people don’t look for someone to blame but try to find solutions to the problem to never have it again. Do not always put a blame on others, take responsibility of what happens to you. Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90 % of how we react to it. Always putting blame on others leads to self defeating mindset, and most times, makes us feel we have been bewildered. I have years considered this to be a traditional means of failing. Take charge today and stop giving room to failure.
Chronic pessimism
I’m not talking about slight pessimism now and then. It’s about the serious, consistent, and unrelenting pessimism that makes people shy away from you and cause you to lose out on the beauty of life. Such pessimism is both stifling and paralyzing.
Pass an injured man
Regardless of what activity you are engaged in, you must never fail to get concerned for someone else. If you’re able to pass a man bleeding on the ground, leave a kid crying unattended or just refuse to be there for somebody who needs you, and then you’re a loser! Almost come to people’s aid when you can, know when to say yes or no, learn when to share your food or money. Someone you help with a half loaf toady might build a bread factory tomorrow, do not take the act of giving for granted. You are a loser if you don’t give out.
You are loser if you are not believing in yourself
You shouldn’t bite off more than you can chew!” “You can’t jump over your own head!” “This is not for me!” These words are loved by losers. To find an additional source of income, to learn a new language, to dare to give a compliment to a stranger — all these actions demand effort. It is much easier to find a weighty excuse and not make any attempts to change your life.
The biggest difference I’ve noticed between successful people and unsuccessful people isn’t intelligence or opportunity or resources. It’s the belief that they can make their goals happen.
We all deal with vulnerability, uncertainty, and failure. Some of us trust that if we move forward anyway, then we will figure it out. As I sit here on Thanksgiving, I’m thankful that I’m one of these people.
When I started my business, I was the only entrepreneur in our family in the last century. I didn’t have anyone to learn from, but I trusted that I would figure it out anyway.
When I was kicked off a train in the middle of the night while traveling through Hungary, I was lost and confused. I couldn’t find anyone who spoke English, so as the train pulled away I ran along side, hopped back on, and trusted that I would figure it out anyway.
When I’ve discovered an opportunity that sounds awesome but that I’m not qualified for (which happens often), I trust that I’ll figure it out and go for it anyway.
I believe in myself. This confidence has made the difference for me again and again. I didn’t need intelligence or opportunity or resources. Just a simple belief in myself
- Even to just admit the fact that you experience difficulties will be the first step to understand the current situation and work out an action plan. You need to understand that any hindrances, whether it’s an economic crisis or that the stars are in the wrong position, slow down your way to success but don’t stop it completely
No aspirations
They say that no man is an island and as such, you have an immediate effect on the people around you. By exhibiting the infectious quality of no ambition, you’re very actively and immediately taking away from and polluting anyone you come in contact . You should read up on psychological suicide.
My guess is you’ve heard a variation of the “If he’d only apply himself, he could be a star” speech of concern from family and friends, which assumes that money and stature are your goals. And because you’re not seeking those out, you’re circling the slow drain of impending failure, yes? Listen to me now and hear me later: if you’re able to live without being a financial or emotional burden on others, you’re already doing something right. Hell, that counts as a huge win in a world which seems intent on grinding 99% of us into usable dust.
There are couple of people that I can think of whom I know who have “no ambition” in a classical understanding of this term. They are always relaxed, calm, thinking how to manage things in such a way that it would take the least possible effort. They are doing relatively well in their careers but not because they proactively seek opportunities on the contrary they seem quite inert, but they are reliable, and they found their niche and that made them unique specialists. They turn down offers with a higher salary and higher responsibility level. Because they value life balance. All their promotions in the start of their career triggered some resistance in them, they worried they would loose their freedom. But they ended up just fine I would say. Life treated them kind. Of course they are smart and educated. Both tolerant with people not extraverts, but friendly. Their life motto “enjoy”. And they followed their motto. They picked for their career something they really enjoy doing and they are happy at work.
Were they ambitious? Somebody would say like not career ambitious. But their primary goal was balance, living in harmony with themselves and people and they were consistent with that goal and they reached it, and that what happened to them due to lack of career ambition. They made their choices based on their core values and are happy with their lives despite some missed career opportunities. That makes them “harmony” ambitious.
But no ambition at all is different. I think they may feel lost, may feel confused and not grounded.
Mean and hateful
Discussing like a ticking time-bomb, waiting for something to light your fuse and place you off is no way to call home. It is not what’s going to get people to reveal you reverence that comes out of love and trust. Instead, this false reverence can be a product of anxiety which adds negatively to the lifestyles of many others.
you can’t expect your friend to hate your enemy if they both have no problem. that’s immature. You have to learn to accept that you cannot control and/or manipulate others. they could become a couple and you should not be bothered by it. if you keep this mentality, you will become toxic and bitter at the same time, believe me when i say that you will be the one who will suffer the most. not only that you chased all your friends away one by one, you constantly live under negativity.
i’m sorry if i’m too blunt. but there is no other way I can say it
Do not think in or respect your self
It is no key and no lie that until you can respect someone else, you need to respect yourself. How do you be fully involved in the game of life, cheering and encouraging different people along, if you can not even think in yourself as an individual? The fact is that this is a choice that stems straight from favorable mindset. Anything else is the refusal and resignation from taking action on a higher level.
Cease before you sweat
Listen, I’m not talking about running in the gym.
Our perception is divided into 3 components: what we know, that which we know we don’t know, and that which we do not understand we don’t know. If you’re closed minded, you forget about the third one, what you still have not discovered, even reluctantly. However, if you refuse to accept that you don’t know everything — your life will probably be dark forever.
Take no responsibility
If you are not a winner, then you’ll never take responsibility,. You won’t be the one person that will change the world. Simply reversing this will turn you into a winner.
Here are exactly what you should avoid if you desire to not turn into a loser or cease being a loser:
. The information
Those flashy headlines which steal your focus away from what matters are causing you a loser. Most conventional news is exaggerated rubbish that makes people fear that the world and fear each other. The information makes us all look at each like we’re terrorists. Choose love, not panic.
Lousy dress
No one’s saying you need to wear Versace daily. No matter what most novels say, first impressions count and how you physically look is a portion of that. Swag it out.
Deficiency of self-control
Being in control has been disciplined. Losers let temptation lead them down a dark and weary road and get robbed of most of their most valuable personality traits. Being in control is about getting your mind in check. Your mind controls exactly what you believe, so you better master it.
When you have the opportunity to get smashed and drink too much, decide to have a glass of wine instead. When all of your friends are complaining about their afternoon and hurling abuse at each other, decide to leave the dialogue or never follow their lead.
If someone cuts you off in traffic, then avoid tooting your horn and brush it off like it is nothing. It’s about not reacting to all of the awful stuff that shows up every day. By practicing this habit, you prevent being a loser and get back control of this horsey’s reigns.
If I had to describe business in two phrases, it could be”solving problems”
Losers spend way too long being pissed off by the problem instead of moving into the favorable state of mind and getting on with constructing the solution. Focusing on the problem is generally done via storytelling. Losers tell composed stories to themselves and people around them regarding the problem.
This narrative takes up a lot of time and sucks away all the energy that could be channeled into coming up with the solution. I like to use the 80/20 rule when it comes to solving a problem: spend 20 percent of your time working on the negative and 80% focusing on the positive.
Zero assurance
Having no confidence repels everyone away from you. Even during tough times, you need to remain confident and have faith in everything functioning at.
Losers don’t back themselves and aren’t confident. This then shows up in their passion and their outcomes. Then they mask this happening by blaming, telling false stories and being angry.
“Not needing assurance is really a vicious cycle that becomes a catalyst in the disorder That’s losermanship (this is not a real word, I made it up and am confident you will find it okay )”
No purpose
What produces a loser more than anything is a lack of purpose. It does not matter what it is; you have to have a reason to your life. Even if you haven’t exactly figured that out yet, you need to have an interim intent. Connect each day to something that arouses you and assists others.
No one was born with a purpose; we all create one out of thin air based on our enthusiasm and confidence from who we are. Not having a driving force is depressing. This negative condition of living makes us unhappy. When you start being consistently miserable, you pick up other damaging components such as a magnet.
A belief that you deserve
Losers believe they need to get more than they currently have. What you’ve got is the result of the present action you have taken. You do not deserve more unless you earn it and create value for someone or something. There are no shortcuts and you’re not about to find lucky pal! The government does not owe you squat. Your workplace doesn’t owe you jack. Your friends do not owe you anything.
If you don’t enjoy where you are at and what you’ve then make a change. Change happens when you choose to stop being a loser and take possession for who you are and what you want to become.
Betting Rather than investing
Losers gamble and go to casinos or even play the lottery.
Losers bet the house on cryptocurrency because someone told them the cost will skyrocket and they are going to become wealthy.
Losers believe that they’re smart when it comes to the game of luck. Losers play the short game that’s based on winning quickly and a belief that they are smarter than the average individual.
You’re able to stay away from a diploma in losermanship by playing the long game, getting educated, investing in what you know, diversifying your risk and learning from those who are more intelligent than you.
Being relentlessly selfish
Losers do the opposite of winners. Losers are relentlessly selfish and only care for themselves. They do not serve others and their model of the world is flawed. Attempting to always get more for yourself takes something away from somebody else.
Sounds counter-intuitive, but that is the way the world functions. Not everything is logical at first. Life can be a small mystery sometimes. That is what makes it so fulfilling to fix.
. Chasing material items
Losers chase dumb, glistening objects that impress people who don’t have any spine. Don’t be like a dog chasing a flashing frisbee because it lights up your eyes for a couple of short moments.
Light up the world rather with your light which will shine brightly once you discover who you are and how you can serve others.
Being obsessed with job titles
Losers believe that made labels up thing. A label is something that is handed out like the dole cheque every fortnight. You don’t have to have any tag in case you don’t need to. Even better, you can make whatever tag you want on your own.
***Final thought***
I feel that losermanship is created by an individual. I also believe we can change anything we need once we detect how we are living. The purpose of this guide isn’t to poke fun at losers or impress you with the word loser. The purpose of this article is to allow you to become self-aware of what you may do wrong or could improve .
My aim in life is to inspire you to live with fire and do something meaningful with your life. I understand you can do something awesome, so it’s time to show us all
Life presents us with different opportunities in 21st century, let us wake and brace up…………………………………………………………………
